What Is The Story You Are Telling Yourself?
Have you ever sat and thought about your negative self talk? You know those awful voices in your head that feed you terrible, negative information. The voice that tells you that you look to fat to wear those jeans. That there is no amount of foundation in your make-up kit to cover those zits. You’re a shitty mom… you know all THOSE voices! Well, those voices must be stopped. Those voices are stopping you from living a life full of love that you deserve! Everyone deserves to feel love. Everyone! And the person that needs to love you the most… is You! That job belongs to nobody else. Not your husband, boyfriend or partner, not your children, not your family members or your friends. That job belongs to you, and it is a full time gig.
I would love for you to take a moment and truly think about the awful things you have been telling yourself lately. Here are some of the stories I used to tell myself often.
- You are a loser.
- You are going know where.
- You have no degree and will never land a good job.
- You look disgusting and huge in everything you wear. You are so gross.
- You will never get out of this mess, you fucked up your whole life. No wonder you and your husband are having problems! You closed your business and screwed both of your lives up.
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Ugh. Even just typing it makes me cry. It is just not okay to treat anyone that way, especially yourself.
If you take anything out of reading this blog today, it’s that those stories you continuously tell yourself, your brain eventually starts to believe them and then you begin to believe what you say. What’s even worse is trying to reverse those negative thoughts. It is sooooo difficult. But the good news is, it can be done, and it can transform your life forever. I’d like you to take out your journal or a piece of paper, humor me and try this. Quickly jot down in point form all the stories you are telling yourself, leaving a space in between each point. When you have completed that task, I want you to write a positive affirmation below it that counter acts the negative thought or story you are saying to yourself. For example, here is my list:
- You are a loser.
You are a beautiful work in progress working towards your dreams.
- You are going know where?
You are working your ass off to make your dreams come true and will do whatever it takes to live the life you desire.
- You have no degree and will never land a good job.
You don’t need a degree, you are smart, talented and have so much to offer this world. You have an amazing skill set and deserve to land an amazing job with an exceptional salary.
- You look disgusting in everything you wear?
You are one hot tamale! Your curves are fantastic, and you can rock a bikini like no one else.
- You will never get out of this mess, you fucked up your whole life. No wonder you and your husband are having problems! You closed your business and screwed both of your lives up.
This mess has given you the strength and courage to turn this life into something beautiful. Your messiness gave you a beautiful gift. I am grateful for my mess. You have your whole life ahead of you, you’ve got this. Darren loves you and you love him, have you told him that today? I am so lucky that we had each other to go through the crazy of closing the store. Look at us go. Look at what we did? Wow, we have climbed mountains together.
I am quite literally asking you to make lemonade out of lemons. Take your negative self talk and as difficult as it is, it’s time that you turn it into something positive. Seriously, do it, or don’t. That is a choice that you make. You deserve to be happy, but happiness is a choice. There is no amount of money, clothes, cars, trips or spa services in the world that will make you happy and love yourself. Stuff can not buy that internal feeling, long term. You choose everyday to show up miserable and unhappy or grateful and full of joy. Let me say that again… You choose! I chose misery for a long time, until I learnt that the only way for me to get the life I desired, was to start creating the happiness I desired. I started being grateful for the things that I do have, instead of the things that I don’t. I stopped comparing myself to others and started feeding my body and soul what it deserves. For me that looks like a whole lot of love. I sit with my day planner every day and write…. I am beautiful, I am strong, I am smart, I am the best mom, I am an unreal wife, I am an amazing photographer, I am a fabulous blogger. I DID NOT BELIEVE THIS TO BE TRUE AT FIRST, but I chose to start teaching myself to love myself, because hating on me was beginning to be way to painful. The thought of my gorgeous daughter growing up acting towards herself the way I was treating myself… broke my dam heart. I need to be an UNREAL example of strength and women power for her. I need her to see that she can do anything she puts her mind to and believe in herself. Then one day it hit me! If I want my daughter to feel that way, then why shouldn’t I feel the same? What is so wrong with me, that I am unable to feel that? So, I changed. And it wasn’t easy. As a matter of fact, some days it was really fucking hard! Some day’s, I honestly thought that I was wasting my time and energy spending all this time trying to love myself. But! For the first time since as long as I can remember, I stopped giving up on myself. My god was it hard and a lot of days I wanted to. Giving up seemed so much easier! But I stuck it out, and I have never been so happy, self motivated and driven in my entire life as I am right now. And I want the same for you!
I hear all the time about how women want to do a boudoir shoot with me, just as soon as they lose (enter any number here) pounds. Most of the time, I don’t even know how to respond. You could be 50 lbs over weight and I am willing to bet you could come to a shoot and feel like a goddess. Let me explain something to you, the way you look in the mirror, the number on the scale, it is not the be all and end all. Not to mention, if you are feeding yourself with negative talk then you could be a Victoria Secret runway model and still see a hideous woman reflecting back. You can have one of the hottest bodies in the world, and still think you are unattractive. If loving yourself was easy to do, everyone would do it and I wouldn’t even be writing this blog right now. But if there is one thing that I know for sure, nothing that is worth it ever comes easy. Sometimes we need to fight a little, that includes the relationship with yourself. You owe it to you. You deserve it.
Write out your list. Write out your positive affirmations that counter act the negative list. Then, fold up that list and put it in your purse, gym bag, vehicle (or make several lists and stash them in all areas). When you begin to start harping on yourself, pull out the positive affirmations list. Even if you feel silly, take the list out and read the positive to the negative thoughts in your head, out loud if you can. Put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath in, and just continue to say the positive over and over and over. If you’re at work - hide in the bathroom stall. If your driving – pull over for a minute. You are worth the 2 minutes it takes to bring love back into your life. It is no one else’s job but your own, to LOVE YOURSELF.
Ladies, I am so crazy passionate about this subject. It is my mission to change the way we talk to ourselves. I am looking at creating a group for women where we can connect and support one another in this journey to self love. If you are interested, please message me angieleahphotography@gmail.com or direct message me on any social media platform. If this is something you think would benefit you, I would love to create a group of like minded women, where we can connect and support one another. Let’s make this change together.
Lastly, I am hosting my very first model call this coming March (insert clapping, trumpets and confetti here). If you or someone you know would be interested in modelling for me, please read the below criteria. You must sign a contract stating that you are okay with me posting your pictures for social media, website and marketing material. You must use my hair and make-up artist (but trust me, she is AMAZING) and pay her fee of $100, The shoot session and location fee is on me for allowing me to use the photos. I will give you a $75.00 print credit that can be used towards images, prints, albums, presentation boxes and more. For more information email me at angieleahphotography@gmail.com
Have the best week ladies! I am forever grateful for your support.
XO,
Angie